Bones: same lmao 05:26:02
Bones: my dad was never a particularly good person but i think that almost makes it easier for me to tell when someones dad is capable of being good sometimes 05:26:30
Bliss: It took me years to trust men again 05:26:32
Zen: I... still don't trust women 05:26:38
Zen: I mean you seem cool bliss 05:26:47
Bliss: Fair 05:26:47
Zen: And I have female friends 05:26:52
Bliss: Also thanks fair 05:26:53
Zen: But I just don't think I can ever love again 05:26:57
Zen: I think it would be unfair to whoever I love, that my soul is so stained 05:27:12
Zen: I deserve to die 05:27:16
Bliss: Healing takes time and effort and if you don't feel like you can move on from that for a long time thats okay 05:27:29
Zen: When I go into my job, and people look up to me... 05:27:57
Zen: I think that makes me really cry 05:28:01
Bliss: Like I don't think you should get into a relationship with feelings like this but I also think you deserve to be loved and deserve to love somebody 05:28:06
Zen: to be a good leader 05:28:34
Zen: and help people 05:28:37
Zen: and enlighten 05:28:41
Zen: I think thats all I'm good for 05:28:53
Bliss: I think you are good for more you just aren't ready for more yet 05:29:11
Bliss: And sometimes you will never be ready and thats ok too but the whole point is to learn how to handle it 05:29:44
Bliss: And unlearn whatever happened 05:29:56
Zen: I spent so long doing romance rps even before I lost my virginity 05:30:05
Bliss: Same 05:30:11
Zen: I really thought it was going to be easy 05:30:13
Zen: I thought I would find love 05:30:19
Zen: That it could last 05:30:23
Zen: That we would inspire each other to be better people 05:30:30
Bliss: The thing about roleplay vs reality is jarring 05:30:37
Bliss: Honestly I got lucky 05:30:49
Zen: That she would see my career flourish and see our worlds combine into a beautiful family 05:30:50
Zen: But now im 25 05:30:53
Zen: and that was 10 years ago 05:30:56
Zen: and I'm still just as sad 05:31:00
Zen: maybe even with capacity for greater sadness 05:31:08
Zen: and I've been looking for longer than that 05:31:22
Bliss: Me and my bf have a big age gap its not horrible but it's there 05:31:49
Zen: but if it comes to me being 30, meeting a woman who spent her entire life being adored by everybody and given what she wanted- i think i'd rather just fucking die 05:31:52
Bliss: He's going to be in his 40's in the next few years 05:32:11
Bliss: There is hope my guy 05:32:17
Bliss: My best friend who doesn't rp also has never had a gf and he's having similar issues 05:33:05
Zen: If there was hope then I could easily find a woman in her 40's to take me out of the group for my dating age bracket 05:33:09
Bliss: He will be 30 in a couple of years himself 05:33:14
Zen: Just like I've seen so many men take women from their dating age brackets in order to make men either have to seek younger or older partners 05:33:50
Zen: both of which are legitimately despised by society 05:33:58
Zen: I fucking hate America 05:34:13
Zen: I hate the west 05:34:15
Zen: but I love freedom 05:34:18
Bliss: The only reason I ended up dating someone older than me was because it happened by accident and I fell inlove with him for who he was not his age 05:34:34
Bliss: He never dated anyone else before me 05:34:45
Bliss: Nor was he interested in women for the most part until he met me 05:34:58
Bliss: He is also the nerdiest guy I have ever met and could rant day and night about shit most people can't fathom or dream of about old tech shit 05:35:36
Zen: I hope you can understand how hard that is for me to believe, coming from a place in America where I've been made fun of for not having 100 bodies and sleeping with a new woman every week 05:35:47
Bliss: I get that 05:36:06
Zen: "most liberal state" 05:36:08
Bliss: I live in america too 05:36:12
Zen: This place is a fucking shithole of degeneracy 05:36:14
Bliss: I live in the east coast 05:36:17
Zen: The east coast is cool I have been once 05:36:25
Speednonymousâ„¢ [] joined chat. ~~ 20 ~~ 05:36:28
Bliss: Where did you go? 05:36:35
Zen: But California is my home unfortunately 05:36:37
Zen: I went to NYC 05:36:40
Bliss: Nice 05:36:46
Bliss: I live near but not in 05:36:53
Zen: I want to move there one day 05:37:00
Bliss: Couple of states away 05:37:02
Bliss: Nyc is a shit hole in the main area go to the outskirts 05:37:14
Zen: Welcome to why country people hate city folk 05:37:27
Bliss: No it has nothing to do with hating city or country 05:37:44
Bliss: There are literally rats and garbage everywhere 05:37:52
Zen: Every city is just filled with transplants that are trying to make money doing the least amount of work, meanwhile the people who keep the city actually running are treated like human fucking slaves 05:38:16
Bliss: Rent rn is over 3k for something that is barely movable in 05:38:16
Bliss: Yea I know 05:38:29
Bliss: My grandpa was one of the people who had to deal with that stuff all the time 05:38:44
Zen: Yes there are lots of rats and garbage in my city as well, but NYC is the biggest city in the country so their degeneracy is particularly noticeable 05:39:02
Bliss: That's fair 05:39:16
Bliss: But I'm saying for like health reasons and shit be careful 05:39:32
Bliss: Like I have no issues with people living in the city I just want them to be aware it's not like what the tv says it is and shit youknow 05:39:57
Zen: Dude they literally have to do antiviral sprays in the streets every year to get rid of Hep-C outbreaks 05:40:27
Zen: from all the homeless people sharing drugs on C-street 05:40:33
Bliss: Yea 05:40:46
Zen: then shitting next to the theatre i work at 05:40:51
Bliss: Oof 05:40:57
Bliss: I mean I know cali has a large homeless population 05:41:10
Bliss: Do you like city life then? 05:42:00
Zen: I feel lonely when I'm outside the city 05:42:17
Zen: I always feel lonely but it strikes me particularly hard 05:42:25
Bliss: Isolation ? 05:42:43
Zen: Yeah if I wanted to I could go meet somebody right now and have a pretty fun conversation with them and I probably wouldn't have to drive more than 5 miles 05:43:08
Zen: Even at night 05:43:19
Zen: Looking around and all you see is dirt 05:43:29
Zen: Nobody 05:43:31
Zen: Not even any cars 05:43:35
Zen: Man 05:43:36
Zen: that shit is just so depressing to me 05:43:40
Bliss: Thats fair country life isn't for everyone 05:44:04
Bliss: I can't live in a big city I would actually probably die 05:44:18
Bliss: Like genuinely 05:44:22
Bliss: My health conditions would make it too hard for my body to do it 05:44:35
Zen: I mean I don't live inside downtown, I live like 10 miles down the east-west freeway 05:45:12
Bliss: Fair I can't drive so 05:45:32
Zen: Also I have to work for large events like comic-con and shit so I have to be able to handle working while there are like 2000 people walking by 05:46:10
Bliss: I have never been to a large convention before only our local comic con and I had to stop going bc it was in august and I was getting heatstroke 05:46:54
Bliss: Someday I will go to big comic con 05:47:06
Zen: It's lame 05:47:15
Bliss: How so? 05:47:21
Zen: Unless you want to spend money on cool merch 05:47:27
Zen: Then the only thing to do is listen to people talk at panels and bullshit 05:47:37
Zen: I mean there are cool displays and shit 05:47:46
Bliss: Comic con was the only day of the year I got to leave my house and actually talk to other people 05:47:54
Zen: But I would never pay that much money just to see giant displays 05:47:58
Zen: Honestly 05:48:01
Zen: Star Trek Conventions 05:48:05
Zen: Anime Conventions 05:48:12
Zen: that type of shit is probably way better to go to as an attendee 05:48:26
Zen: Well not probably, definitely 05:48:40
Zen: Much more out of your money, way more likeminded people 05:48:49
Zen: People don't really do big cosplays anymore for comic-con 05:49:05
Zen: There weren't even any homestuck cosplayers! 05:49:09
Bliss: Well homestuck is kind of dying 05:49:19
Zen: Yeah I mean the epilogues sucked and I didn't even have to read them to figure that out 05:49:35
Bliss: Yes 05:49:50
Bliss: I read some of it then I almost cried and stopped 05:50:00
Bliss: I cried because they destroyed the entirety of there characters 05:50:15
Zen: Yeah I saw weird al as a troll oligarch and basically clicked off the page 05:51:03
Bliss: They hurt all my babies and I said kill it with fire 05:51:49
Bliss: Sorry I know I haven't replied yet I'm kinda tired rn 05:52:26
Bliss: I might have to tomorrow 05:52:35
Zen: ((yeah its cool I need to head to sleep soon so don't worry 05:52:39
Bliss: Fair 05:52:43
Zen: if you do write one, there will be a reply waiting for you 05:52:55
Zen: otherwise ill see you 05:52:59
Bliss: Alright! 05:53:19
Bones: sleep well!! 05:53:27
Zen: I mean not that soon damn 06:11:32
Zen: just went to the 7-11 for a chili dog and 2 40's 06:11:41
Bones: my bad 06:11:42
Bliss: Lmao 06:11:50
Bones: i was like what are 40s bro my ass barely be drinking 06:11:56
Bones: i want to buy more wine 06:12:01
Bliss: I don't like alcohol it's yucky 06:12:14
Bones: fair 06:12:24
Bones: i like fruity drinks bc im fruity 06:12:29
Bliss: I do like the pinacoloda 06:12:54
Bones: s/o to my friends mom who asked what kind of juice i wanted and i said "i dont know... something fruity?" and she said "you would" 06:13:04
Zen: my friends mom also called me flamboyant and i thought it was because I like the color red 06:13:33
Bones: not bc of the color red 💀😠06:13:51
Bliss: Lmao 06:14:15
Bliss: So how was that chilidog 06:25:36
Zen: bad 06:27:18
Zen: idk 06:27:21
Zen: The bread was dry 06:27:32
Zen: and I got a bad hotdog I guess 06:27:36
Zen: but the 40's are good 06:27:49
Bliss: Fair 06:33:56
Bliss: Sad 06:33:57
Zen: I was taking out the trash and a stray dog just started chasing me 06:34:23
Bliss: What the fuck 06:38:20
Bliss: Is this looney toons shit 06:38:25
Zen: This is the second time I've been attacked by an animal behind my back door in the last couple months 06:39:36
Zen: The first time it was a fucking bird 06:39:47
Bones: bro is becoming an anti disney princess 06:45:48
Bliss: I am so sorry for you 06:47:22
Zen: It's fine, sorry for trauma dumping earlier 06:52:18
Zen: Kind of embarrassed that came out of me 06:52:32
Bones: its ok its pretty cathartic i think 06:52:56
Bones: it was nice to hear some of your story 06:53:17
Bliss: It's fine man 06:53:21
Bliss: I do the same shit too man 07:07:20
Bliss: No issues with funny business 07:07:27
Bliss: The last time I did a back and forth like that was in mxrp and I was able to have more character limit and I just don't have the energy to do that while I'm brain dead 07:08:07
Zen: What do you mean a back and forth? 07:08:45
Zen: Like several passages in a day like that, after already writing the intros and start and stuff 07:09:16
Zen: It can get kinda hard once you've already described everything there is to describe 07:09:30
Bliss: Lmao fair 07:09:35
Zen: then you gotta actually make the characters kiss and stuff 07:09:37
Bliss: Ye 07:09:45
Bliss: The will power to back and forth like bones and speed will only come at a cost of my soul once again 07:11:18
Zen: 0ohhhhh like the way they are doing 07:11:39
Bliss: I know I'm not old but I was a teenager the last time I replied like that shit 07:11:44
Bliss: Yea 07:11:48
Zen: yeah i can only do that when my energy levels are high 07:11:50
Bliss: Same 07:11:53
Zen: or when I've been doing a lot of reading of other peoples rp 07:12:00
Zen: to give me ideas 07:12:06
Zen: enrichment lol 07:12:09
Bliss: Also the reason I'm slow is I put my shit in google docs 07:12:12
Zen: like, permanently? 07:12:22
Bliss: So that I can actually make sure it doesn't get eaten 07:12:22
Bliss: Nah 07:12:26
Zen: ah yes I put my stuff on the notepad in my computer 07:12:38
Bliss: Unless I have to repost I usually keep it on the last post I wrote 07:12:52
Zen: and i have the bbcode and replacements memorized 07:12:52
Bliss: When I write a new one I just destroy it and write it 07:13:16
Bliss: Like a heathen 07:13:19
Zen: writing, for me, isn't what takes the longest 07:13:21
Zen: I am very good at typing 07:13:31
Zen: I can type faster than I can think sometimes 07:13:38
Bliss: Same 07:13:44